“Most of us spend our time seeking happiness and security without acknowledging the underlying purpose of our search. Each of us is looking for a path back to the present: We are trying to find good enough reasons to be satisfied now.
Acknowledging that this is the structure of the game we are playing allows us to play it differently. How we pay attention to the present moment largely determines the character of our experience and, therefore, the quality of our lives.”
― Sam Harris, Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion
Finally, someone brought to light what I’ve known but haven’t had the courage to articulate myself. While I find great satisfaction in striving towards goals, living for sometime-tomorrow-if-I-get-there-maybe-I-should-try-harder is a shallow form of living. It’s like your life is dry ramen sitting on the shelf and you’re waiting for some magical time in the future when you’ll get hot water and become something real.
I agree with Harris that being present in our lives is fulfilling in a way that meeting goals and obtaining life situations can never be. As I reorient my awareness to the present, though, I’m surprised to discover: it hurts in the present. I’m a better, more accomplished person in the future. Being present faces me with my limitations and flaws, the uncomfortable sensations arising in my body.
And yet, being present is empowering. Breaking away from a false fantasy is all there is to do.
And hey, look. Maybe this moment is enough.